chpter 8 : awakening

It had seemed impossible that Anna had worked non-stop for the past 48 hours, with the occasional break.
She had done everything to make Madame Geraldine proud - scrubbed the floors, dried the laundry.

At one point, she had even made a go with the sewing - & everyone knew how much she had loathed sewing.

"Egads, you aren't a slave, Anna. You do realise that, don't you?" James commented one day as he watched her friend find a queer ingredient in the pantry.
"Yes, but I have found out that if one feels empty. what other cure than to work, work & work?" Anna replied, climbing down a ladder.
"But not to this level!" James said exasperatedly.

He walked towards Anna & dragged her down from running to Madame Geralding, handing another jar of pickled chili.

"Just... Tell me. Let it all out, Anna. If you let it in, you would never feel better. No matter how much you have worked, you'll never feel better." James said, tugging at Anna's sleeves.
Anna sighed.

She was touched that her true friend was worried but she did not want to be weighed down.
She had a little left of energy buzzing within her but she decided to let it be for a while.

The sewing could wait.







"So, what is it that you want me to say, James? That I've forgotten his name? Oh, or how he looks like? Is that what you ask of me? To forget him?" Anna spat as soon as she dragged James to a shady corner.
"Anna... What is it? You seem to be a little... Waspish may be a suitable word here." James said.
"Of course I am waspish! After seeing him with another woman, my other best friend & him being pettish with me, surely one would be excused for one's testiness." Anna said exasperatedly.

James thought best to keep silent.

"Do you even know what he said to me, James? He told me that I was the cruel one. That I feign ignorance towards you & your feelings." Anna said after a moment of stillness.
"You do." James said quietly.
"Because I had to, James! If I do not, I would end up hurting you even more than this." she said in a descending tone.

Another moment of quietness passed.

They both were debating on who was going to begin the conversation - he or she?

James opened his mouth after deciding what best to say.
Amy did not know what to expect from James' mouth - maybe he would agree, to finally give up on her.

Or maybe something else.

She did not know. She never knew if not for Madame Geraldine calling for James' assistance with a heavy load directly from Japan.

"I'm coming, Madame." he said instead.

& just like Adam did, he left Anna alone.









Amy, for once, was in a blunder, not just in the raging war of her friends, but also in a personal one between her & (Pharaoh) Jeffer.
Usually they would both write letters to one another.
Occasionally they would both meet up at the Sacred Garden during every full moon.

Yes, she knew he was missing.
That was the most worrying bit.

But she could not help but to laugh when a companion tells her that it was because of her during that scandalous moment at the last ball.

Inasmuch if that was true, that would mean that Jeffer had feelings for her!

'Oh, ha, what a laugh. How I would wish that was true,' she thought as she rolled her eyes at her companions.

Pushing the matters aside, she & Anna had not spoken for days, but what felt like weeks.

She really could not put up this silent feud she & her friend were having.
She decided that, once the two meet, she would put a stop to it all.






"Oh, I'm sorry!" Amy said as she accidentally (deliberately) bumped into Anna as she carried the laundry from the hangers.
"It's okay." Anna mumbled while picking up the fresh but dirty clothes.
Amy helped out & tried to reach out for Anna's hand, who only moved farther away.

"Anna, I can't stand it anymore! You should say something to me that at least contains more than five words!" Amy said, frustrated.

Anna kept quiet & continued attending to the laundry.
After completing the task of putting the dirty laundry into the woven basket, she carried it all the way back to the head of the lavendry, Mrs Jilah to return it, while carefully nodding at what Amy was saying to her, even though she was not actually listening.

"Anna! Listen to me," Amy said, nearly pleadingly.
Anna turned around & Amy stepped back, intimidated by the sharpness of her friend's glare.

Normally, there would be humor & warmth deep within her friend's eyes but then.

Then, there was only coldness, sadness...
Something that made Amy long to soothe her friend, to tell her that everything was going to be alright.

"I'm listening." Anna said quietly, clasping her hands together to ignore the pain bubbling inside of her.
"Anna, I know you still have not forgiven me for my inexcusable behavior with... With Adam. I did not intend to cause any harm for I was so intoxicated with the liquor." Amy said lamely.

Amy managed to restrain herself from stealing a quick glance at her dear friend's face, her expression.
All that she could do was merely wondering what her friend was thinking as she attempted to explain the true scenario the previous night.

"But that does not mean that you can pay no heed to Adam. He did not do anything infelicitous. It was only I & I alone. He was merely a victim during my pathetic hour." Amy said, feeling the loss of her last shred of dignity.

Anna finally looked up from the green grass & to her friend.
What she saw, Amy did not realise, was true sincerity, regret.

Everything that could induce Anna that truly she should not act cold towards Adam.

"I forgive you." Anna said & smiled as a wide smile spread across Amy's face.
She smiled even wider when Amy had jumped up & hugged her tightly, but oblivious toward the tears flowing from her friend's eyes.

But the moment quickly disappeared as soon as it had appeared when Amy took a step away & said, "You may forgive me... But do you forgive him?"
Anna kept quiet & thought to herself.

Did she forgive him?

No, a small part of her thought. Not yet.
But a bigger part of her screamed, Yes. Yes...

"But he did not do anything wrong." Anna said, feigning ignorance.
"That's better." Amy smiled & hugged her friend again.









At the exact same moment, a young man was found sitting at the foot of the Hills, a few feet away from the sacred lake next to a young lady in silence.

Abby did not know what to make of the sudden request for her presence by James.
She only came as she was, after all, his friend.

Nothing more, she knew.
She knew better than that.

"I do not know what to do." James said quietly, so soft was his voice that Abby could have mistaken it for the wind.
But she kept quiet.
She knew that there was more.

"Every time I endeavor to get closer to her, she would either find the meaning something else entirely or push me further away. It is as if I am walking in a desert during a sandstorm. Every step I take, the wind just pushes me further away from where I am aiming to go to. & it makes me use even more strength to pass it again." he said with a sigh & put his heads between his knees.

Abby looked at James with sympathy. She really longed to pat his back, saying everything is alright.
If only it was as simple as that.

He said between his knees, his voice muffled, "I am tired, Abby. What I long for is taking so much of me, but I do it anyway. Because... Because I-"
"Oh, the sun is setting. I have to go." Abby said abruptly.

She stood up & ran.

Run, coward. her father's voice rang inside her head.

Run.







As Amy & Anna walked side-by-side, a girl ran past them, sobbing in her hands.
"Abby?" the two said in unison, recognizing her at first glance.

"Abby, wait!" the two said again, only louder.
They began to run to catch up their friend's pace.

As soon as they had caught up with her, Anna put her hand on Abby's shoulder.
"Abby?" she said softly.

Abby looked up from her hands & stared at Anna through her red eyes, taking no notice of her tear-stained face.

"Why." she said.
She did not ask but merely say.
"Why do you torture him so? Do you know how full of sorrow he is? How much he longs to be more than just a brother?" Abby said, sounding on the verge of hysteria.

Anna kept quiet.
Amy merely stood behind, not knowing how to stop the crisis unfolding before her very eyes.

"If you do not choose him as the one you wish to be with for the rest of your life, why do you toy with him? Why do you not merely let him go? Why are you doing this to him? Why can you not let him be?" she said, her voice cracking at the last sentence.

"Abby, that's enough." Amy said as she pulled Abby away from Anna.

& to Anna, it seemed that everyone she cared for was abandoning her.
Again.








"Thank you so much, dear! You should go off now, you know? It really is no good to be out this late, even for a strong, young man like you." Madame Geraldine chided to James.
He chuckled & nodded his head.

"Yes, ma'am." he said & whistled his away through the path to the foot of the Hills, his secret hideaway from everything.
From his life, the world.

Reality.

He was surprised to find a young lady standing at the edge of the lake, her dark brown hair flowing behind her.

"Anna?" James said as he approached the mystifying girl with caution.
"Anna?" he said, a little louder than the last.

She turned around & was startled to immediately recognize the girl's features - her startlingly brown eyes a match with her hair.

"Anna? What in the Lord's name are you doing here? At such hour? Do you know what could happen to you at such a time like this?!" James said, frustration boiling within him.

He grabbed her by the shoulders, infuriated with her behavior.
How could such a lady be so careless, not giving a thought about her safety but floating around at such a time like this?

He stared into his eyes & she stared back.

What was she thinking, he did not know.
He was trying to read her, trying to comprehend her bewildering behavior.

But he could not. He could not as he observed every inch of detail on her face - her eyes were a pure brown, so dark yet so bright.
Her lips were looking a mix of a pink & red, slightly parted for breath.

& that was when something within him came apart.

He could not restrain himself any longer.
He pulled her closer & kissed Anna.

A soft kiss. He could feel her lips, so soft, parting...

But abruptly, she pulled away & nearly barked, "James! What are you doing?"
"I was kissing you?" he said dubiously.
"Why?! This thing... What you are doing now... It has happened a long time ago, James. Do you not remember? We were young back then. You have to move on. Truly. What we did-"
"What we did was right. Anna, you feign ignorance but you know. You acknowledge my feelings. Why do you not accept them? Do you not see? I l-"

She took a step back & said, "Don't say it! You do not mean it! You think you do but you don't! Please, James. Stop it. I sensed that this was going to happen. You are becoming less discreet by the second."

The sounds of crickets chirping seemed startlingly loud.

"Why did you drag Abby into all of this? Do you not see it, James? Why do you think that she listens to you, always there, telling you that everything was alright?" Anna said.

James crossed his arms. "Well, there is no question that she is just a friend."
"Just a friend? Is that all you can say? She cares for you more than a friend, James. Wake up! There's finally someone to be there for you, someone who truly even loves you."

James said nothing but ponder.

"Please, James. You must move on to continue your life. If you keep trying to fix the past, when are you going to attend to your future? Go to her! Go to someone who already is waiting for you." she said.

Finally, he opened his mouth.

"Thank you, Anna. You always are a good friend of mine." he said & hugged her.

A true brotherly hug.
He finally felt it - he is finally letting her go.

& he felt as if he just woke up from a dream.